Helluva thing
by DestinysFate
Summary: COMPLETE FANTASY-It's a Helluva thing when you love someone and they don't love you back. Story of a girl who falls in love with a gay man. . .or is he?
1. Chapter 1

Helluva Thing  
  
Disclaimer: Joss owns the characters. I'm just playing with them . . .  
  
Summary: It's a Helluva Thing when you love someone and they don't love you back. Story of a girl who falls in love with a gay man. . .or is he? Fantasy Spuffy fic.  
  
A/N: I'm not sure how many readers this story will attract. . .How did this story come to be? Well, I had met a really hot guy who was sweet and funny and intelligent. . .and he turned out to be gay. I guess you could say that I was inspired. . .and totally depressed. . .but inspired non the less! ^_~ At least he and I are friends now. . .*sigh* If only we could be more. And thus! This story was born. ^_^  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
"I can't believe you!" The petite blonde screamed to the man heading towards the door.  
  
Soul mates.  
  
Some people spend all their lives, dedicated to finding their soul mate. For that one person they can grow old with and cherish for eternity. Someone who'd accept them for who they are and understand them like their other half.  
  
Some people wait all their lives for that special someone to walk through their door. . .  
  
Such was not the case for Buffy Summers.  
  
Well, if a person would count "walking through the door" to *leave*. . .Then I guess one would consider that Buffy had found her soul mate.  
  
"I *cannot* believe you- you. . .you. . .lying, cheating, mother- argh!" Buffy growled as she opened closets and slammed drawers. T-shirts, shorts, jackets, shoes, and everything else of the clothing variety, flew across the room and onto her bed.  
  
Buffy whipped her head around and saw Riley with a duffel bag in hand and the doorknob in the other.  
  
She shook her head, stomping her way towards him. "Oh no you don't," she demanded and pulled the bag from the tall man.  
  
"We're over, Buffy. I'm leaving." The brunette stated, reaching for his things.  
  
Buffy laughed humorlessly, "There's no way *you're* leaving. *I'm* leaving." The blonde angrily swung the duffel bag backwards and into the living room, knocking a glass lamp over. The contents of the bag spilled over the carpet and Buffy shook her head shamefully at the packets of condoms that fell out as well.  
  
"I just can't believe I ever considered the fact of you working so late EVERY NIGHT was anything but suspicious." Buffy thought aloud, bustling in the bathroom and coming out with bottles of shampoo and conditioner. She went back into her room where clothes were spread out all over her bed. She shoved them into her own duffel bag, along with the bottles.  
  
She zipped the bag up and surveyed the room, checking for anything valuable that she might've forgotten.  
  
A picture of Riley with her arms around him sat on her nightstand. She had thought they were so in love.  
  
Buffy snorted, "Yeah right." Pulling the bag over her shoulders, she left the photo there and walked to where Riley was still standing.  
  
"I'm so sorry about everything," Riley apologized, trying to sound sincere, "Buffy, I think I should be the one to leave. You should have the apartment because I know I don't deserve it-"  
  
He was cut off by Buffy's sardonic laugh, "The only reason why you want *me* to have the apartment is because you know that *I* was the one who always paid for it! You asshole!"  
  
Riley's earlier sincerity dissipated and he rolled his eyes, "Ok, so you're right." Then he said matter-of-factly, "But Buffy, you can't blame me for cheating on you. I mean, when was the last time we ever had sex?" Buffy opened her mouth to reply, but he continued, "Never, that's when. God, Buff. A man has needs and you couldn't even let me have you once. Just once- "  
  
"That's all you *ever* wanted from me, Riley!" Buffy shouted, "I thought I meant *more* to you than that!"  
  
He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned on the wall, "What else can women offer other than sex?"  
  
Buffy glared daggers, "Fuck you!"  
  
She whirled around and pulled open the door. Stalking angrily outside, she heard him call out in reply, "Like you would!"  
  
The blonde stuck her middle finger up without looking back and continued to walk away from the apartment that had been her home for six months. She walked away from the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with.  
  
Soul mates?  
  
No such thing, Buffy thought grimly.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Some miles away. . .  
  
"What? But I-"  
  
"Leave." A raven haired woman pointed at her door as a blonde man hung his head low, dragging his feet in that direction.  
  
He turned his head around and confessed, "I can't leave you, Dru."  
  
"I don't want hear it, Spike." She said, shaking her head.  
  
"I love you-"  
  
"You bloody liar!" She pushed him towards the open door, "I'm not going to be your bloody whore anymore."  
  
The door was shut on his face and Spike let out a deep sigh. Fishing in his jeans for a cigarette, he leaned on the side of the building, waiting for the door to open once again with Dru apologizing behind it.  
  
The door opened.  
  
His face brightened and he positioned himself in front of the threshold, arms open wide.  
  
"I knew you'd want me back," He stated, awaiting his lover to jump into his arms.  
  
"As if." Drusilla snorted. She threw a pile of clothes at him. Shoes were tossed from the house, along with his leather jacket that fell on the concrete.  
  
"Hey! Watch where you throw that," Spike pouted, leaning down to pick up the discarded jacket.  
  
When he got up, Drusilla stuck his white briefs on his head. Spike opened his mouth to say something, but she stuffed a couple of used condoms in his mouth.  
  
"I believe you should have these," She smiled wickedly, shoving them in further, "They're from the other men I cheated on you with."  
  
The information slowly filtered into his mind and Spike's face twisted into disgust as he spat them out, one by one.  
  
"That's disgusting, Dru!" He gasped, wiping his tongue with his fingers and the closest cloth he could find. . .which was his old underwear. He noticed this and spat, mumbling, "Oh bugger."  
  
"Not as disgusting as you! You call *me* a whore? You're the *whore* around here, Spike! You've been cheating on me with other women- I can't believe you! We're over!" Shutting the door on his face again, Spike let out another sigh and gathered up his things, hopped into his car, headed towards another woman's house.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Knock. Knock. Knock.  
  
Spike rocked on his heels as he waited for the woman to answer. Taking a drag from his cigarette, the door swung open.  
  
Spike smiled, "Cecily-baby! How-"  
  
"No, Spike." She denied, already closing the door.  
  
"But I love you!"  
  
The door shut on his face for the third time that day.  
  
Shaking his head, he drove over to Harmony's place, knowing full well that she would invite him to stay over for as long as he wanted.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
"What do you want, Spike?" Harmony asked in irritation, a hand on her hips.  
  
"Harm! I was wondering if I could stay-"  
  
"No, Spike."  
  
The blonde man frowned, "But. . .I thought we had fun together. . ." A sly grin crept onto his lips.  
  
Harmony scowled, "Yeah. That was *before* I found out you were sleeping with other women. Bastard." She was about to close the door when his boot caught in between.  
  
"Now now. Let's have none of that. . ." He scolded lightly, slowly entering the house. His hand came out to stroke her cheek.  
  
"No, Spike. W-we're. . .We're over. . ." She protested weakly as his lips drifted over her neck.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
"Oh God, Spike. Oh God! Yes! Yes! Oooh! Agh!" Harmony collapsed on top of him, heavily breathing.  
  
Spike sighed and propped himself up on his elbows. Looking down at the sated blonde, he grinned and 100% sure that she would say yes, he asked, "So can I stay?"  
  
Harmony frowned and pulled herself off him. Throwing his clothes into his arms, she replied matter-of-factly, "No."  
  
Spike sat up and tried to look shy, "But Harm. . .I just realized. . .I love you."  
  
SLAM.  
  
The door was shut on Spike for the fourth time that day.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Spike sighed as the- what was it -the twentieth? The thirtieth? Spike had lost count on how many doors were slammed on him after the eighteenth. All the women he asked to stay with knew his reputation and wanted nothing to do with him.  
  
"I can't help it if I'm so bloody desirable," Spike smirked to himself, but then frowned when he remembered that he had no place to stay without paying.  
  
Spike was a player. Bouncing from one girl to another, he probably slept with every woman in Sunnydale. And he was proud of it.  
  
That is. . .Until my reputation finally caught up with me and now I can't find any woman that would take me in! Spike thought angrily, then chuckled.  
  
"Take me in. . ." Spike laughed, shaking his head at his own joke. His stomach growled and the blonde looked around for a place to eat. Ironically, the diner that stood to the side was the same one that his friend, Parker, worked in. He turned his car into the left lane, thinking he could get a discount on the food and have a place to crash that night as well.  
  
As he turned, a blonde woman came into view and he swerved, missing her by an inch.  
  
"Watch where you're going!" He yelled through his window. He shook his head when she called him an asshole and he parked by the diner.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
After a few blocks of nonstop walking, the reality of what really happened finally hit Buffy and she realized that she had nowhere to go. She slowed her pace and spotted a small diner, her stomach growling in response. Buffy crossed the street and out of nowhere, the screeching of tires was heard and lights shone around her.  
  
"Watch where you're going!" A man yelled from the car.  
  
"Why don't you, asshole?!" Buffy cried out as she saw the blonde man's angry face. She saw him pull into the same diner she was going to but didn't care.  
  
She shook her head and entered through the glass doors.  
  
"What can I get for you, darlin'?" A brunette man asked, throwing a white rag on his shoulder.  
  
Reading through the menu, Buffy sighed and asked, "Um. . .Could I have-"  
  
"Parker! So nice to see you, mate." Spike greeted, plopping into the stool beside Buffy.  
  
She narrowed her eyes at him, remembering him as the guy who almost ran her over.  
  
He turned to her and smiled, "Hello, pet. You look awfully familiar-"  
  
"You almost killed me, you arrogant bastard." She rolled her eyes and Spike smirked.  
  
"Oh that's right." He nodded at his memory, "You're the chit who wouldn't watch where she was going. . ."  
  
"Fuck you." Buffy cursed.  
  
"Wouldn't you like to?" Spike suggested, running a hand down her arm.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
A/N: I kind of rushed this whole chapter 'cause I wanted to get it out before I had to go to sleep. LoL But if you guys think it wasn't good enough, just tell me. I'll revise it or actually have a beta read through my story.  
  
Please be kind and review. =) Please review! Should I continue this? It depends on the reviews I get. Please tell me what you think. I'd really like to know. 


	2. Chapter 2

Helluva thing  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, I just bid 'em to do my will.  
  
Summary: It's a Helluva Thing when the person you love doesn't love you back. Story of a girl who fell in love with a gay man. . .or is he? Fantasy Spuffy fic, my dears. *wink*  
  
A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! *sniffles* They've just made me sooo. . . Happy. *tear*  
  
Some of you wondered why Spike was a player, but my summary says Buffy thinks he's gay. Well. . .Just be patient *wink* and you'll see. . .  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Buffy grimaced and pulled her arm away from him, saying to Parker, "Suddenly, I don't feel like eating here anymore." She stated, slipping off the stool. She headed towards the door, leaving a very rejected Spike behind.  
  
He pouted, "All the ladies have been turning me down, Parker. I think I'm losing my touch." He pretended to sniff and buried his head in his arms.  
  
Parker rolled his eyes, slapping a wet cloth across the back of Spike's head he scolded, "Spike! You're scaring away the costumers!"  
  
Spike frowned, "Who cares about the costumers? What about me?"  
  
Parker jumped over the counter and headed after the blonde girl, calling over his shoulder, "What about you?"  
  
Spike starting spinning around the stool, "I need a place to crash-"  
  
The diner's doors swung shut on him, unknowingly, as Parker ran out after Buffy.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
"Hey! Wait! You can still eat here," Parker panted, jogging up beside Buffy.  
  
Buffy shook her head and continued walking away, "Nah, that's ok."  
  
"No, I promise. He won't bother you again."  
  
Buffy pulled the bag further up her shoulders in attempt to show him how much her mind wouldn't be changed, "Really, it's fine."  
  
Parker was still jogging beside Buffy to keep up with her strides, "You sure? Cause I can-"  
  
Buffy stopped and turned to look at him. She tilted her head to the side, "Why do you want me to eat here?" Buffy was really curious as to why this man was trying to persuade her to eat at his diner. Did he. . .like her or something? Maybe not 'like'. . .but. . .care?  
  
Maybe things are looking up for once. Buffy thought.  
  
Parker looked down and shuffled his feet. Looking shy, he replied, "It's just. . .You looked kind of down and. . .and I was wondering. . .maybe you wanted to talk to someone. . ."  
  
A ghost of smile appeared on Buffy's lips, "That's sweet-" Buffy stopped herself. She couldn't get involved with another man, not just yet. She had just gotten out of a long term relationship and that ended badly. No, she needed time alone. . .  
  
She realized that Parker had been waiting for her to continue and Buffy sighed.  
  
I need a break. I need to be alone for a while. . .Buffy thought sadly to herself.  
  
"Look. . ." Buffy began, but realized she didn't even know his name.  
  
"Oh! Parker. My name's Parker." He helped.  
  
"Ok, Parker. Look, I'd really like to stick around and. . .talk. . .but I *really* have to find a place to stay. You see, I just broke up with my boyfriend-"  
  
Just broke up with her boyfriend. . .Parker thought, and she needs a place to stay. . .  
  
"You can stay with me," he offered.  
  
"Huh?" Buffy asked.  
  
"You could stay with me," Off of Buffy's alarmed look, he corrected himself, "I mean- I have an extra room in my condominium. You could stay if you want."  
  
Buffy thought it over but wasn't entirely comfortable about the idea, "I don't know. . ."  
  
"I won't bother you, if that's what you're worried about. Besides. . .I live by myself, so you won't be bothered by anyone else."  
  
Buffy chewed on her lip, debating whether this was a good idea or not.  
  
Noticing her discomfort, Parker said, "You can trust me." He gazed into her eyes and Buffy let out a breath.  
  
"Ok," Buffy agreed, causing the pair to smile.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
They walked back into the diner to see Spike still spinning around on the stool. He clearly didn't notice that Parker had walked out on him a few minutes before because he was still talking like there was someone in front of him.  
  
". . .get it now? That's why I have to stay at your place," Spike stopped spinning and faced the counter. He frowned when he noticed that no one was there. Peeking over the counter, he asked, "Parker?"  
  
"You can't stay with me," Parker said, walking up from behind.  
  
Turning around to face the voice, Spike asked, "Why not?"  
  
Parker grinned and put an arm around Buffy, "Because she's taking my extra bedroom."  
  
Spike's eyes widened but then he shrugged, "Fine. I'll be sleeping in your room tonight."  
  
Jumping onto the counter, he hopped down onto the other side and grabbed Parker's jacket. Fishing in it's pockets, he pulled out the set of house keys tucked inside and threw them in the air, then caught with his hand.  
  
"See you there," he winked and in a flurry of leather, left the diner.  
  
Buffy turned to Parker, eyes widened in shock, "You're just gonna let him walk out like that? With your keys?"  
  
Parker shrugged and helped her into a chair, "Don't worry. He's a. . ." Parker thought of what to call Spike. Sure, Spike and him went way back. . .but their only friendship consisted of which one could date more women. Their friendship was more based on competition. "He's. . .a friend."  
  
"A friend," Buffy repeated slowly. A friend. . .Buffy rolled the statement in her head.  
  
"Yeah, he does it all the time," he continued, sliding a dish towards her, "Here. Eat. It's on the house."  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Flipping a switch, the hallway brightened and stairs stood before the couple.  
  
"Just go right up. Make yourself at home." Parker nodded, extending a hand out.  
  
Buffy walked up the steps and examined the space. They were in a mini living room, black, leather couches lining a wall and a big screen tv across of it. To her left was a kitchen, sink half full with unwashed dishes and a cereal box laid open by a toaster. Walking further, she saw the hallway and Parker lead her to the extra room.  
  
"Here's your home. . .for tonight. . .or however long you choose to stay," Parker said shyly, setting her bag in the bedroom.  
  
Buffy smiled, "Thanks."  
  
Parker pointed to a room across from hers, "This is the bathroom and that," he pointed to the end of the hall, which was a few feet from Buffy's own bedroom, "That's where me and Spike will be sleeping. If you need anything, just knock."  
  
Buffy nodded and Parker smiled at her before saying goodnight. . .which was interrupted by Spike calling out from behind Parker's door, "Parker? Can you come in here?"  
  
"Coming," Parker mumbled and entered his bedroom.  
  
Curious, Buffy stood by the door of her bedroom and listened:  
  
"What is it Spike?" She heard Spike ask, irritated.  
  
Spike's reply was quiet and Buffy could hear their hushed voices. She heard Parker say, "Sh, Buffy's sleeping. We have to be quiet."  
  
Buffy frowned? Be quiet? What were they gonna do? Have a party?  
  
Buffy heard some commotion and Spike's voice, but she couldn't make out what he was saying. She heard a moan, which sounded like Parker's, then heard his voice again, "Fine. . .alright."  
  
She couldn't here much until Spike said the words, "Oh, how I've missed you!"  
  
Buffy's eyes widened and she slowly leaned closer towards the door.  
  
She heard Parker curse, "Oh shit-"  
  
Then she heard a growl and Spike ask, "Like that?"  
  
She heard some banging and later, Parker's reply, "Oh yeah. . .Just the way I like it." Moaning was heard on the other side of the door.  
  
Buffy's hand went up to her mouth and she backed up into her bedroom. Closing the door silently, she sat on her bed and stared at the wall that separated her and the two men on the other side.  
  
"What's going on in there?" Buffy whispered.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Meanwhile in the other room. . .  
  
"What is it Spike?" Parker asked, irritated.  
  
"I couldn't find my hair gel!" Spike raised his voice but Parker shushed him.  
  
"Sh! Buffy's sleeping. We have to be quiet."  
  
Spike apologized, "Sorry. . .But I need my hair gel!"  
  
"Go look for it," Parker shrugged, throwing a blanket and pillow on the floor as he snuggled into his bed.  
  
"Excuse me, mate. But what do you think you're doing?" Spike asked as Parker closed his eyes.  
  
"I'm going to sleep. What's it look like?" Parker rolled his eyes and his eyes drifted close.  
  
"Yeah, but in bed," Spike pointed to himself, "I want the bed."  
  
"No," Parker moaned.  
  
Spike sighed, "Fine. . .I'll just tell that chit in the room that the real reason you're letting her stay is because you just want her for sex-"  
  
"Fine. . .Alright." Parker got off the bed and slept on the floor.  
  
After some silence, Spike asked, "So where's my hair gel?" Parker growled and pointed towards the bathroom's cabinets. Spike opened one and found it.  
  
"Oh, how I've missed you!" He grinned happily.  
  
"Will you shut up?" Parker hissed. Spike got surprised, squirting gel onto the wall, "Oh shit-"  
  
"Sorry." Spike mumbled, grabbing some tissue to wipe off the goop.  
  
"No, don't wipe it like that! You're making it worse!" Parker grabbed the tissue and wiped it himself.  
  
"Like that?" Spike asked as Parker got tissue paper stuck to the wall, "Smooth, mate." Parker growled at the blonde man's chuckle and he pounded the wall in frustration as the green goop was spread all over the place.  
  
"What the *hell* is so funny about this, Spike?" He spat his name and that only made Spike laugh even more.  
  
"Look at you! You're all bottled up with all that sexual tension you've got there," he informed, pointing at the brunette's pants and it's little tent towards the front.  
  
"What do you mean?" Parker denied.  
  
Spike rolled his eyes, "Oh, you know what I mean. . .You and I both know that blondie in the other room is a virgin. . .We've been with enough women to tell. . ." He winked and lit a cigarette, "She's a virgin, and I know you want her."  
  
Parker stopped scrubbing the wall and a sly grin slipped over his features, "Oh yeah. . .Just the way I like it. Of course I want her. . ." Parker sighed and leaned his back against the wall, "I mean, to have a virgin wrap herself around you. . .so tight. . .so-" Parker moaned, eyes rolling back as he imagined how Buffy would feel like.  
  
"Oh God. . .A virgin. . .I haven't had one of those in a while," Spike sighed wistfully, eyes drifting close.  
  
Parker chuckled and made his bed on the floor, "Too bad you'll never have her."  
  
Spike opened his eyes. "What?"  
  
Parker shrugged and leaned on his elbow, "You'll never have the girl. . .because I'm gonna get to her first."  
  
Spike narrowed his eyes, "Is this a bet?" The blondes lips curled into a wicked smile for he knew this was exactly what it was. Things never change. . .  
  
Parker grinned evilly, "Depends. . .You up for it?"  
  
Spike nodded eagerly. He never backed down from a challenge, "Hell yeah!"  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Buffy was in bed, close to sleep, when Spike's voice shouted, "Hell yeah!"  
  
Her eyes shot open and she struggled to keep from pressing her ear against the wall to hear what was really happening.  
  
Oh my God, Buffy thought, Was that just a cry of. . .ecstasy?  
  
The blonde girl shut her eyes and forced herself to go to sleep. Tomorrow. . .There would be a *lot* of explaining to do.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
A/N: *sniffs* I think. . .*cough* I really am. . . *cough cough* catching writer's block. *sniffles* Not good. . .  
  
Oh! HELP! WHAT SHOULD THE WINNER OF THE BET GET? *giggles* Oh. . .I made a rhyme. Anywho! What should they get? I have no idea. . .Money? A car? A coupon to McDonalds? *racking brain* I need something that Spike would never want to lose the bet for. . .HELP!!!  
  
Please be kind and review. =) Help, please. I think school has sucked my brain's juice or something. . .*pout* 


	3. Chapter 3

Helluva thing  
  
Disclaimer: The wonderful ship of Spuffy is sadly not mine, but it is the great work of the almighty Joss Whedon. *bows* I'm only being nice to Joss because he made Spuffy. . .but I'm still holding grudges. I mean, the man OWNS SPIKE! ARGH! *pounding fist on table*  
  
Summary: It's a Helluva Thing when the person you love doesn't love you back. Story of a girl who fell in love with a gay man. . .or is he? Fantasy Spuffy fic, my dears. *wink*  
  
A/N: Thanks everyone for your reviews, even to my author's note. *giggles* It meant a lot to me. *sniffles* *huggles* I love you all! OH! And thanks for helping me with the winner's bet. It helped lots. Thankies!  
  
*tapes on paper wings on back* *hops around throwing cotton around room* Fluff! Fluff! Must spread the fluff! I am fluffy-fairy, spreading the goodness of fluff to all! *giggles* Sorry. . .I've been having writer's block and I just decided to just turn on my computer and. . . Write. Yeah. *wags finger at face* So I better see some reviews. *grins and runs off scattering more cotton in the air* lol  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
The sun peeked through the blinds, smiling over a sleeping blonde. Her eyes popped open, then squinted at the bright light.  
  
Rubbing her hands over her eyes, she sighed in annoyance. She hadn't gotten any sleep that night. Her thoughts were filled with the two men who were currently sleeping in the room next to hers.  
  
Sniffing the air, the sudden scent of eggs and bacon, possibly syrup. . .and ooh. . .coffee, assaulted Buffy's nostrils. She breathed the smell in and got up, pulling her hair in a tight bun. Straightening out her white tank top, she stepped out of her room.  
  
The scene before her was-  
  
"Buffy! You're up!" Parker greeted, an apron around his waist. He flipped a pancake in a pan and stirred some eggs in a bowl.  
  
"Good morning, luv," Spike walked over to the petite blonde and offered a glass of orange juice, "Please, have a seat and enjoy your breakfast." None had bed hair and both weren't even in their pajamas. Their hair was made up with gel and Buffy could smell the faint scent of aftershave.  
  
Parker slipped two pancakes on a glass plate and slid them on the table. He pulled out a chair and came over to Buffy, pressing a hand against her back to lead her to her seat. "Here. Sit. Eat," Parker encouraged.  
  
When Buffy seated, Spike quickly hurried to retrieve a red rose from the room and handed it over to her. "This is for you," he winked.  
  
As Spike straightened up, Buffy noticed Parker stick his tongue out at Spike and he smirked, shrugging.  
  
"Um. . .thanks, you guys," Buffy mumbled, taking a bite from her pancake. Her eyes widened in surprise, "Mmm! This is goood."  
  
Parker grinned and pushed Spike out of the way as he sat across of the eating blonde.  
  
"So, Buffy. I was wondering if you'd like to go. . .I don't know. Maybe. . .to the movies?" Parker asked.  
  
She thought a moment and shrugged, "Sure, why not?" Drinking down some juice, she complimented, "Wow! This juice tastes so-"  
  
"Fresh?" Spike helped.  
  
She nodded and sniffed the flower he had given her, "Thanks for the rose. . ." Buffy took a quick moment to look at the man before her. I mean, *really* look at him. The night before, she was so angry that she blinded the fact that he was actually a grade A hottie.  
  
He had bleached blonde hair and such deep blue eyes. His cheeks were something to look at. So finely chiseled- so defined. And those lips! What was she talking about? Only the lips? He had a great body, too. His black t- shirt revealed the outline of nicely toned muscles-  
  
Buffy mentally shook herself. And to think this was the same guy who had almost run her over the night before and she was currently drooling over him.  
  
"What was your name again?" Buffy asked politely.  
  
"Spike," he smirked at Parker as he shook hands with her.  
  
Buffy nodded, putting some eggs into her mouth, "Thanks Spike. That was sweet of you."  
  
He nodded and went to eat his own plate next to Parker.  
  
Buffy stared discreetly at the two men eating across from her. They certainly didn't look gay, Buffy thought.  
  
'I am *so* winning this bet' Spike and Parker thought at the same time as they smiled in false sweetness at one another.  
  
Then again. . .Maybe they are, Buffy shrugged as she saw them grin happily towards each other.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
As Buffy brought her fork up for the last bite, both men stood up and offered to put her plate away. Parker had grabbed the dish from her first and Spike sent a glare over to the grinning brunette who was now heading to the kitchen to wash her plate.  
  
Once parker was out of the room, Spike grinned evilly and turned back to Buffy with a fake smile.  
  
"So, Buffy," he began as he poured her another glass of juice. He sat across from her and rest his chin on his palm, trying to look interested. "What do you do. . .for fun?" His gaze slipped down to her lips and back up to her eyes, he made sure she noticed.  
  
And she did.  
  
Buffy gulped down the remaining food in her mouth and Spike couldn't help but smirk at her uneasiness. Taking the glass of juice, she took a sip to wet her suddenly-dry throat and answered, "Well. . .I like to go to clubs, to dance. . ."  
  
Spike continued to listen- or at least *pretend* to listen. Her voice faded into the background once he had heard her first answer.  
  
"I like to go to clubs, to dance. . ." Spike repeated in his mind. He mentally rolled his eyes at the girl before him. What an airhead, Spike figured. Clubs are *usually* meant for dancing and she said it like he didn't even know what clubs were for.  
  
Sighing to himself, his eyes widened when he realized she stopped talking. "Pardon?"  
  
Buffy looked a little irritated but her features softened as she asked again, "What do *you* do for fun, Spike?"  
  
He licked his lips, "What do *I* do for fun?" Buffy nodded and he leaned forward, close enough to feel her breath on his face. "Women," he finished, his gaze flickering from her eyes to her mouth and he tilted his head closer to hers. His hand lightly caressed her cheek, thumb gliding over her lower lip.  
  
He could hear and feel her breath quicken and saw her eyes begin to drift close. That's when he sat back into his seat and Buffy opened her eyes in shock, wondering where the warmth had gone.  
  
"More juice?" He offered casually, as if he they had never shared the close- to-an-intimate moment before.  
  
It took a moment for his question to register in her mind as she tried to answer the questions bubbling up inside her. "What?"  
  
"Juice, luv. More juice?" He repeated, taking a sip from his own cup.  
  
Buffy shifted in her seat a little, feeling her own juices between her thighs, "Um. . .No thanks. I- I have enough."  
  
He nodded, picked his plate up, and headed into the kitchen with a triumphant grin on his face.  
  
This was gonna be too easy, Spike thought arrogantly.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
A/N: Alright. I know. It's on the short side. On the reeeeally short side. Sorry! *sheepish grin* School really has been messin' with me head. I can't think straight no more. *grumble grumble* LoL  
  
Please be kind and review. =) Pretty please? ^_^ With whipped cream, chocolate and strawberries and Spike on top? *wicked grin* Mmm. . .Spike on top. . .*licks lips* heheh. . . 


	4. Chapter 4

Helluva thing  
  
Disclaimer: Spuffy isn't mine, Parker's not mine (thank God!) but for once, I actually own the plot. So yay! ^_^  
  
Summary: It's a Helluva Thing when the person you love doesn't love you back. Story of a girl who fell in love with a gay man. . .or is he? Fantasy Spuffy fic, my dears. *wink*  
  
A/N: Thanks for all your reviews! *wipes tear* They gave me a happy after I found out about how my grades are dropping. Ugh. I am becoming such a slacker! But anywho. *giggles* Thankies! Thanks for reading! Oh yeah, and so very sorry for the long wait. Was having me a dose of writer's block. But I'm all go, now. *wink* I think. . .  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Buffy glared down at her glass of juice.  
  
What the hell had gotten in to her? She just asked a simple question and he gave her a simple answer.  
  
Buffy sat in calmness for a small moment, then her mind went reeling once more. Grabbing the nearby newspaper off the table, she fanned herself.  
  
Why am I so freakin' turned on, then? My God! He didn't even do anything! Buffy argued, slightly disappointed that he really *didn't* do anything.  
  
This was wrong. It was stupid to feel this way about someone you just met.  
  
He almost kissed us! It's OK to feel this way! Buffy's inner-brat retorted.  
  
At that thought, reality forced itself into her mind. Did you forget the minor detail that oh say. . .he's gay?!? It taunted.  
  
"Right, perfectly natural." Buffy mumbled when Parker came back into the room.  
  
"So, how about that movie?" He asked, pointing at the newspaper Buffy was holding. On the other side, it held pictures and show times.  
  
Buffy looked up to see Parker grinning and holding a few green bills in hand. She smiled, "Sure." Anything to get her mind off the hot blonde.  
  
The brunette's eyes sparkled as he continued to smile. Was it just her imagination, or did he look like he was planning something? "Good. Go get ready, I'll wait for you." He answered, staring down at the page of the newspaper that Buffy had left on the table.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
"Did I mention you look ravishing?" Parker commented as he hurried to open the door to the theatre.  
  
Buffy looked down at her jeans and sweatshirt, down to her old sneakers. This was ravishing? She shrugged. Ok. . .Whatever. "Thanks."  
  
"So what were we seeing again?" Buffy asked, shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth.  
  
Parker grinned as he led her into the darkened room. Seeing that all the seats were full but three in a row towards the middle back, they headed in that direction to claim their spots.  
  
As the two settled in their seats, Buffy maneuvered herself so she could whisper into Parker's ear, "So what are we watching?"  
  
"Sh." He put a finger to her lips and Buffy felt irritated as he continued to give her a "I-know-what-we're-watching-but-you-don't" smile. She continued asking for hints on the movie they were about to watch and finally sighed in defeat when he didn't tell her anything. She crossed her arms over her chest, slumping back into her chair with a pout.  
  
"Aww. . ." a British voice sounded from her right. Whoa, British? She turned her head and sure enough, there was Spike. "Is the poofter giving you a bad time?" He slid into the seat next to Buffy's right side and casually threw an arm over her shoulder.  
  
"Spike?" Buffy shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "What are you doing here?"  
  
He ignored her question and stuck out a pack of chocolate bars to her, "Kit Kats?"  
  
Buffy smiled, "I love those. They're my favorite." She broke off a piece and popped it into her mouth, moaning when the sweetness melted on her tongue. "Yum."  
  
Spike grinned. This is good. Common interests. We're a bloody match, I'll have her in bed in no time. "They're my favorite too." They didn't notice the brunette on the other side looking angry at their exchange.  
  
"Spike," Parker hissed, "What *are* you doing here?" He was clearly pissed to see his plans to seduce Buffy in the theatre were ruined.  
  
Spike shrugged, "Well, I *was* there when you asked Goldilocks, here," he ran his hands through her hair and Buffy tried her best to control her breathing, "if she'd like to go. Considering that you invited her to the movies right in front me, I clearly saw that as an open invitation for me as well." He ended his explanation with a smirk and waited for what Parker would say.  
  
Parker gritted his teeth, knowing what Spike was doing. He was trying to get him mad enough so that he'd make a whole scene and seem like a bad man compared to Spike. Buffy would flee into Spike's arms if he let his temper fly. But no. He wouldn't do that. Parker was going to win this bet.  
  
So Parker just smiled and complimented how it was nice to be hanging out with such great friends, throwing Spike off- who was expecting a blow up.  
  
Instead of showing his discomfort, Spike just smirked and made himself more comfortable, Parker's blonde "date" unconsciously snuggling a little closer into his arms.  
  
No way that was going to happen. Parker pretended to stretch and put his arms around Buffy's shoulders, knocking away Spike's arm in the process. Both men glared at each other behind the blonde- who was currently shoveling handfuls of popcorn into her mouth and who didn't notice the secret battle going on. The lights dimmed and Buffy's eyes focused closely on the screen.  
  
Popping some more pieces of popcorn into her mouth, she caught herself in a coughing fit once she saw the title of the movie they were watching. Spike saw too and his mouth gaped open.  
  
Spike didn't pay for the tickets, he had snuck in, acting as if he was part of some family group and had gotten in free. So he had no idea what they were watching. . .until now.  
  
"Teletubbies go to Hawaii?!?!?" The two blondes shouted in shock together.  
  
"SH!" The audience shushed.  
  
Buffy shot a startled gaze to Parker, "Why are we watching this?"  
  
Parker frowned, clearly confused, "I thought you liked it."  
  
"What made you think that?" Buffy asked. What the hell gave him *that* idea?  
  
"Well, remember this morning?" She nodded. "You had the newspaper open and I saw 'Teletubbies go to Hawaii' on the page. So I just- What?" He broke off, "You don't want to watch anymore?"  
  
Buffy was about to answer when she saw that he'd be hurt if she said no so she just forced a smile on and said, "Of course I do. I just thought that. . .uh. . .You wouldn't want to watch it either. B-because. . .err. . .I love the teletubbies!" She hoped he would fall for her act.  
  
Parker gushed, "Don't worry about it. I love Teletubbies too! We have so much in common!"  
  
Buffy's smile began to fade as Parker practically bounced in his seat as the opening song went on. She sunk further into her seat and Spike had to hold back a laugh.  
  
"Shut up," she ordered.  
  
He shrugged and chuckled a bit then stopped with wide eyes. Not because Buffy told him to, but because he just realized that he'd have to watch the movie too if he was gonna make sure Parker made no moves on the blonde.  
  
"Bloody hell," Spike cursed.  
  
"Sh!" Parker scolded and turned his eyes back to the screen.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
-----Half an hour later. . . -----  
  
"Oh, aren't they cute?" Parker gushed quietly for the umpteenth time, startling Buffy from her slumber.  
  
Buffy plastered on a smile and nodded. Turning back to her drink with an eye roll, she took a long sip, waking up slightly from the dose of caffeine.  
  
"Bloody cute, my ass," Spike muttered under his breath. This wasn't worth it. Watching those- things- bounce on screen were just *not* a way Spike wanted to spend his afternoon.  
  
He snuck a peek at the blonde beside him. Poor girl. She looks bored. Spike chuckled. Doesn't look like Parker will be seducing *her* anytime soon. I'll just leave her and the poofter alone to suffer. Good plan, Spike my boy. He stood up and Parker raised a brow. "Ran out of chocolate. I'm gonna go buy some more. I'll be back."  
  
As Spike left the room, he thought aloud, "I wonder if I'm too late to watch 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. . ."  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Buffy glared at Spike's retreating form. Wuss, she thought. She settled back into her seat and stared up at the screen once more.  
  
Ok. So those- things- were cute. She especially liked the one in red. But there was just so much singing that she could take. Buffy took another sip of her coke and a light bulb went off in her head.  
  
"Uh. . .Parker?" He was too enraptured by the movie so she shook his arm and said a little louder, "Parker!"  
  
He jumped, "Yeah?"  
  
"I drank too much pop. I'm gonna go to the little lady's room, ok?" He hesitated at first, but nodded, "Tell me what happens, alright?"  
  
"Alright." he answered as she headed towards the aisle.  
  
Ok. This wasn't good. Why was Buffy leaving during the movie? *Especially* after Spike?? It was like a hammer was smashed over his head. Of course! She was following Spike! Damn.  
  
He began to get up when he felt a strong tug and he fell back into his seat. He shook his head and tried to get up again, but the same hold on his jacket was still there. Turning his head, he looked to his left. An overweight man wearing a wife beaters shirt was snoring, an empty popcorn bucket in his loose grasp. Parker squinted in the dim light and saw that part of his jacket was trapped underneath it.  
  
Rolling his eyes, he sat back down and pulled on his jacket. It wouldn't budge. Tugging a bit more, the man snored even louder and turned in his seat laying more weight onto Parker's jacket. Growling, Parker scratched his head in frustration and finally decided to take off his jacket.  
  
"This is just stupid. Stupid jacket. Stupid man sitting *on* my jacket." Parker grumbled as he undid the buttons on his jacket. His fingers were on the last button when the man beside him mumbled something in his sleep and dropped the bucket of popcorn. With his now free hand, he swung it over Parker's waist and nuzzled his face against the brunette's armpit.  
  
"Oh- Oh God-" Parker gagged, seeing the saliva sticking onto his coat. He attempted to pull the man's arm off his body, but it just tightened more. He looked around and cursed, "Shit." Sagging against the chair, he gave up with a defeated sigh. He propped his chin up by his palm, elbow resting on the armrest with thoughts of Buffy and Spike making out in the lobby and him losing his condo do the peroxide blonde.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
"I'm just gonna be a little while. Just a second. Then I'll go back to Parker. . ." Buffy repeated in her head as she tiptoed across the lobby. She jumped behind a plant when she made it to the concession stand. Buffy peeked her head around, making sure Spike wasn't around. When she saw the coast was clear, she resumed sneaking into the next room.  
  
Pushing through the door, the sounds of screams and a chainsaw rang in her ears. Buffy watched as the actress, Jessica Biel, helped her hurt friend hide in an abandoned house.  
  
Buffy crept down the aisle, stepping cautiously as the lights on the screen dimmed as well as the theatre. A dark figure appeared in front of her and it grabbed for Buffy's arms. Buffy screamed as Jessica Biel's screamed as well.  
  
"Let go of me!" Buffy yelled, her voice still being covered by the actress's screaming and the chainsaw's noise.  
  
"Buffy? Luv?" Spike's lips slid across her ear.  
  
"Spike?" Buffy stopped yelling and looked up.  
  
"What are you doing here?" They asked in unison.  
  
Spike led her to some chairs in the back and whispered, "Well, you didn't expect me to watch that *whole* movie, did you?"  
  
"Ditto." She giggled.  
  
"Kit Kat bar?" Spike offered, unconsciously wrapping his arm around her shoulder.  
  
"Sure," she accepted the chocolate and watched as the character held a hand to her mouth; hoping that it would help muffle her heavy breathing, she prayed that the killer wouldn't find her as he stepped into the room and looked around.  
  
Buffy jumped when she felt Spike's breath on her ear, "If you get scared, feel free to hug me."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes and laughed. Spike surprisingly found that sound satisfying.  
  
He frowned. 'Satisfying' for some odd, odd reason.  
  
"So how do you think Parker's holding up?" Spike asked Buffy, in order to stop his mind from questioning his feelings towards the petite blonde in his arms.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
". . .Tinky Winky!. . .Dipsy!. . ."  
  
Parker sighed for the zillionth time and cast a bored glance at the sleeping man's bald, shiny head that was currently residing on his shoulder.  
  
". . .La La!. . .Poe!. . .Teletubbies!. . .Teletubbies!. . ."  
  
"Oh God- It's soaking through," Parker gagged, daring another look at the pool of saliva that was dampening his arm.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Buffy shrugged. "He's probably having the best two hours of his life," she answered, resting her head comfortably on his shoulder and sighing in content.  
  
Spike didn't know whether she knew what she was doing or not, but Spike pushed his thoughts to the back of his head as he concentrated on the movie- and how *nice* and *right* this felt. The bet was totally forgotten.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
A/N: Can you tell me how this chapter worked out? Was it good? Was it bad? Was it too short or too long? *sheepish grin* I was just having a little fun in this chapter. . .Couldn't help myself. Please review, I'd like to hear your thoughts. Or maybe hear how much you like my story. . .lol Uh yeah. . .Right. *cough* Hope for no writer's block in my future! ^_~  
  
Please be kind and review. =) 


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